Is this glass in the picture half full? Or is it half empty? (Or, if you are a nerd, do you focus on the half that’s full of a clear liquid or the half that’s full of air?)
Well, for me, it depends. If it’s my glass, then it’s half full. I get to enjoy several more drinks of refreshing water before having to get up and get some more! But if you’re a guest at my house, it’s half empty and I need to get ready to bring you a refill!
In my life I find a similar sort of relativism when it comes to whether I’m an optimist or not. When it’s my stuff, my life, the things I have leadership over, I’m usually optimistic, especially when I’m talking to others. But if I’m looking at the situations that others find themselves in, I tend to be more pessimistic.
I find myself much more easily doubting the intentions of others rather than being honest about my own. I’m really likely to ask for people to give me leeway for my mistakes and to point out my own progress on various issues but I’m pretty unlikely to do either for other people.
So, I don’t find it surprising that some people who have been hurt in the sticky racial climate in our country don’t want to hear from me how far I’ve come with regard to being more sensitive about ethnically-related ethics, practices, and behaviors.
But I have come a long way. I fully imbibed the latent but polite racism that was part of the culture of my youth. However, I always tried to fight against it. I tried not to laugh at the racist jokes. I tried not to use racial slurs. I tried not to buy into the stereotypes of people of different ethnicities. I tried to have a diverse set of friends. I tried to lead groups in the churches where I have served to be more multi-cultural. I have tried to stand in solidarity with those different than me. I’ve tried to be an advocate, a support, and a freedom fighter.
I have tried.
But the folks who live in my neighborhood who are currently suffering thanks to unfair systems and structures don’t really care about how I have tried. And my friends who when they look at themselves in the mirror wish that they could change, not their weight or hair, but their ethnicity thanks to all the pain they have suffered just by being a person of color, don’t really want to hear how I’ve tried either. And folks who feel marginalized and unheard within Evangelical churches like my own simply because they were born within a different ethnic culture than me also don’t really care how much I’ve tried.
Is it good that I’ve tried? Sure! 100%!
But why do I have this tendency to tell people how hard I’ve tried? Is it white guilt, the feeling of shame and frustration that some white people feel when they see or hear about racism leveled against others by whites, whether in the present or past? Or is it my sad effort to distance myself from those racists while ignoring some lingering racist tendencies in me?
My friend, Liz Lin, recently posted an awesome blog at The Salt Collective called “My Name is Liz Lin, and I’m Racist.” In her piece Liz argues that we’re all racist by default. It’s just part of what it means to be human to group people together and to make pre-judgments about them. But Liz doesn’t leave it there. She pushes forward, challenging us to move beyond simply accepting our own racism and that of others. She says, “We need to actively correct ourselves — and each other.”
And Liz is right! But as we do this active correction of ourselves and others, let’s not parade it around for everyone to see! Instead of using some of my energy to tell others, especially those who don’t look like me, how much I’ve tried and how far I’ve come, I’d rather use that same energy to continue to treat people of other ethnicities with dignity and grace, just like I would like to be treated!
So let’s get a little less “the glass is half full” with this issue. Instead, let’s admit that the glass is broken and the refreshing water that was supposed to be delivered to us all has spilled all over the table and is dripping onto the floor. Now let’s work together, across all of our divisions (ethnicity, socio-economics, gender, education, etc.) to build a new vessel to hold water…and then let’s tip it over and shower those in the most need with the life-giving water of the good news of the kingdom of God!
Here’s a book by Efrem Smith that is full of helpful resources and thoughts about being missional and multiethnic: The Post-Black, Post-White Church: Becoming the Beloved Community in a Multi-Ethnic World.
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