Tag Archives: adoption

Almost the Worst

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The worst possible scenario almost happened.

Almost.  A small but powerful word.

In the span of six letters, almost can cause grief, worry, general consternation, and downright panic.

The legal adventure of adoption for my wife, son, and me is a perfect example.

 

Almost Stuck

First things first, the major part of the adoption process has gone off without a hitch.  Our birthmom, who happens to be my cousin, has been great from start to finish with this whole thing.

I would be dishonest if I said I never had a doubt about her backing out — I did.

But this doubt had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.  Let me explain…

When we started this adoption journey, I started reading all about other adoption stories.  And, for whatever reason, I was constantly drawn to the worst case scenario stories.  Here are a few examples of the types of stories I read:

  • Birthmom and adoptive parents come to an agreement before the child is born.  Just before the birth, or just after, the birthmom changes her mind.
  • The birthmom and adoptive family make and agreement and the child is placed with the adoptive parents.  But the birthfather wants to exercise his rights a few months down the road and the horrible scenario of adoption litigation begins.
  • And most relevant to our current situation, an adoptive family is doing an inter-state adoption and gets stuck away from their home due to some paperwork issues.

So when I got a phone call from the social worker we hired in Nevada in which we learned that there were some paperwork issues, I got totally freaked out.  I started imagining all the worst stories that I read about months ago.

I even started to coach myself through the issues involved with being stuck here.  At least your with your wife, son, and mother-in-law, all of whom you love, I told myself.  Maybe you can figure out a way to stay with some of your family in town?  It could be worse, after all…

Of course my wife and I (and many others) prayed.  But when faced with what seems like a looming disaster right around the bend, it’s hard to be as confident in God’s leading as you’d like to be.

The worst almost happened.

The Flipside of Almost

Luckily there’s another side to almost.  There’s the good news.

Our good news came in the form of another phone call from the Nevada social worker and an email from the California adoption agency.  Both of them assured me that all the necessary paperwork has been processed and approved.  We can go home!

We almost got stuck…but we didn’t!

We get to return home!

almost

Happy dance on the other side of almost!

In just a matter of a few hours from the time I’m writing this, we’ll be on the road undertaking a 5-hour road trip with a new born.  Nothing problematic about that!

I wonder what might almost happen on this leg of our journey!

 

If you’d like to help us with our adoption finalization costs or if you want to read more of our adoption story, then please CLICK HERE.

Also, if you want to keep up with our adoption story going forward, then please subscribe to my blog via email by using the entry boxes near the upper right hand corner of this page (or near the bottom if your viewing on your mobile device).

 

Thanks!

Praying on the Spot

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Maybe you’re like me and you have a hard time remembering things.  I’m horrible with dates, names, places, directions, and on and on.

In fact, I was so nervous that I would forget my wife’s birthday that I set it as my password for everything when we were dating.  Then I did the same thing with our anniversary date when we first got married.  (I have since changed it, so don’t try to log-in to my stuff!)

So it should come as no surprise that I almost never remember to pray for someone when I tell them I’m going to.

 

Praying on the Spot

So, in response to my poor memory, I started praying for people on the spot.  I began with my close friends and family.

Sure, it was a bit awkward at first, but once we all got used to it, things were great!

I then extended the “praying on the spot” circle to include other people in our church community.  That went well too.

But lately I’ve started praying for people I barely know, like cashiers and other people I run into in my daily life.

Well, as many of you already know, my wife and I are in the process of finalizing the adoption of our little boy Jude Myron.  Here’s an obligatory picture:

praying

Jude Myron, posing for his newborn pics.

For part of Myron’s time in the hospital after he was born, he had to stay in the NICU’s nursery due to some particular adoption regulations.  Well, as you might imagine, we saw some tired and stressed out parents and family members in the NICU (which is short for neo-natal intensive care unit).

Praying in the Hospital

On one particular day a woman walked out of the NICU and it was clear that she was really shaken up.  She was sobbing as she walked by in her hospital-issued gown to go back to her labor recovery room.  My instincts were telling me to reach out to her, to console her, and to pray for her.

But I thought it would be awkward, her being in a gown and all.  So I let the moment slip by.

I saw her early the next day and she was with a friend.  They were chatting and things seemed better.  I naively thought, Well, I guess the worst times are behind her.  I felt okay about passing on the opportunity to pray for her the day before.

Then, later on that same day, I saw her exiting the NICU again.  She was in tears once more, but this time she was wearing street clothes.

All the excuses were gone.  Now was the time.  And since Myron was about to be discharged, I wasn’t going to get another opportunity.

As she approached the area where I was seated we made eye contact.  When she was right in front of me I finally gathered the courage to talk to her:

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“I’m sorry.  How long does your baby have to be here?” I asked.

“Eight and a half more weeks,” she replied.

I knew at that point only one tiny drop of the pain she was feeling.  Myron had been in the NICU for three days and that felt horrible…and he was healthy.  My heart broke for her.

“I saw you the other day and I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t,” I said.

“Was I crying then too?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No.  Don’t be sorry,” I responded.  Then I paused for a second or two.  We were still making eye contact.  I knew that I was about to ask her if I could pray for her but I was scared.

“I know this might sound weird…but can I pray for you?”

“Sure,” she said as she brightened up ever-so-slightly.

I motioned her to move closer to me since there were half a dozen people in the waiting room.

“What’s your name?” I asked.  She told me.  “What’s your baby’s name?”  She shared that information with me too.

Then I offered my hand to her and she took it.  I paused, trying to gather my strength, and I prayed.

I simply offered a prayer for her recovery and the health of her child.  I had a really hard time holding it together though.

I finished praying and I looked up and we shared a nice little moment together.  She then told me some more of her story and how hard it was to have such a tiny baby.  I wished her the best and told her I would continue to pray for her.

 

Conclusion

For every one story like this that I have, I have twenty where I did nothing.  Praying for someone you don’t know can be difficult and weird.

But praying for a stranger can sometimes be the best missional ice breaker ever.

What’s the worst that could happen?  Someone could ask you not to pray for them?

The missional benefits outweigh the “risks.”

Praying for someone who is far from God can be the catalyst to put them on the path toward Jesus!

 

What do you think about praying for people on the spot?  Is praying in this manner difficult or weird for you?  Or do you find it easy and natural?

 

If you’d like to help us with our adoption finalization costs or if you want to read more of our adoption story, then please CLICK HERE.  Thanks!

Boy: It’s a Boy!

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image

It’s a boy!

Our son was born on January 21st of 2015 at 11:12AM. He was 7 pounds, 4 ounces and he measured 19 inches long.

His name is Jude Myron Barnes. We will follow a tradition in my family where boys with the initials JMB go by their middle names. So our boy will be called Myron.

He had all his toes and fingers. He passed his first tests with flying colors (#tigerdad).

And Wendy, my cousin who is Myron’s birthmom, was amazing. Not only did she give birth to our beautiful son, she also selflessly hosted family and friends for much of the time before and after labor.

Wendy is a perfect illustration God’s grace through all is this. As my dad said last night, “Wendy is my hero.”

But since this is my blog, I want to share a bit of my experience.

I was super sleepy when Wendy’s labor began. It had been an adventure getting a room in the hospital. And then the process moved pretty slowly until Wendy’s water was broke.

That’s when things sped up!

I stayed with Wendy until she started to push. I went out to the waiting room with my dad but I couldn’t stay. I had to be closer.

So I stood in the hallway outside the labor and delivery room. I was listening to everything that was being said.

My wife, my mom, Wendy, Wendy’s mom, and the hospital staff all worked together perfectly.

But my universe changed when I heard three things.

The first was someone yelling “It’s a boy!” A BOY! That’s amazing! A girl would have been great too. But we weren’t meant to have a girl. God had a boy in store for us!

The second was when I heard my wife say, “His name is Jude Myron.” We had spent months picking names, so hearing her say those words was really surreal! We picked Jude Myron because the names mean “praise” and “sweet oil,” as in myrrh, like that which was given to Jesus when he was born, respectively.

Jude Myron is a gift of praise to the Lord.  It’s our deepest desire that Myron grows into this name with all humility and grace!

And the third universe-changing thing I heard was this: “WAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Myron’s cry made my heart grow, burst even. In that tiny moment I knew that I would be loving that boy for the rest of my life.

I literally felt my capacity for love grow because of that boy.

I had always heard about how amazing meeting your child is but experiencing it was amazing!

The voice of that boy changed everything for me.

I just leaned against the wall in the hallway and wept tears of joy.

Getting to hold Myron was great. Feeding Myron was great. Even changing him was great!

Gosh, I love that boy.

God, thanks for this gift. Now we want to give him back to you. Our boy is yours.

Today Is the Day

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Today Alida was running when the sun was rising. She looked out over the sky and saw that it was half pink and half blue.

Now neither one of us thought that God would reveal to us the sex of our baby in some way before the baby was born. However, both of us took this particular sunrise as a reminder the God is with us through this process.

Today is the day. Today is the day that we pack up the car. Today is the day that Sunnie, our dog, gets dropped off at some friends’ house. Today is the day that we drive for four and a half or five hours to Las Vegas.

But more importantly today is the day then Wendy, our birth mother, is going to be induced.  In fact, that process begins today in about eight  hours from the time I’m writing this blog post.

Alida and I have no idea how much our lives are about to change because of what outs happening today.  But I can honestly say that we’re super anxious to find out!

So please keep praying for us, and for Wendy, and for our baby, and for this legal process to go smoothly. We would greatly appreciate it!

Also, if you would like to read more of our story and/or support us in this process, please click here.

And lastly, if you want to keep up with our adoption news, then subscribe to this blog by entering your email in the upper right hand corner of this page (or at the bottom of the page if you’re viewing this on a mobile device).

Anticipation

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Anticipation…

Have you ever waited for something?  Like really waited for something?  Like for something that is more profound than you could ever imagine?

My wife and I have been in a constant state of anticipation lately.  We aren’t generally neurotic or worrisome sorts.  This state of anticipation is specific.

We’re adopting.

And adoption is chock full of anticipation.

But so is waiting for a child to come into the world through biological means.

And so are a thousand other things in life.  And, if you’re anything like me, then that ubiquitous anticipation is torturous.

Anticipation is just difficult and often painful.

Is Our Anticipation Special?

I’ve learned something recently — being in a near constant state of anticipation can alter one’s perception of reality.  In fact, it can cause one to think that his or her anticipation is special, unique, and one-of-a-kind.

And in the previous two sentences the word “one” really just means “my” and “me.”  I’ve learned that anticipation has altered my perception of reality.  I think my anticipation is special, unique, and one-of-a-kind.

Sure, the situation my wife and I find ourselves in is unique.  But every single situation in the universe is unique.  And when someone is waiting for something, their anticipation is completely unique.

Everyone’s anticipation is special.  So, in a certain way, no one’s is.

But Anticipation Is Difficult

But just because everyone’s anticipation is equally special doesn’t mean that the anticipation we all experience is therefore easy.  It’s not.  Anticipation can be difficult sometimes.

And when it is, I’ve learned that there are few things which are totally unhelpful, whether because I’ve done them or because I’ve been on the other side.

So, here are some of the things I’ve learned:

  • Don’t try to make people feel what you think they should feel.  That’s not helpful.  Just let people feel whatever they need to feel.  Empathy is key here, not sympathy and certainly not unsolicited advice.  Ask questions for which the person feeling the anticipation can answer honestly, not just in the way you want them to answer.  Give people space to feel.
  • Don’t judge people for being different than you might be.  Here’s a great example of a mistake that I tend to make: I sometimes foist religious lines on folks.  Something like this: “Don’t worry; God is good.”  Or something like, “Just have faith in God.”  Whether the person who is experiencing anticipation believes in God or not, saying things like these is not generally helpful.  It says to the one feeling the anticipation that what he or she is feeling is wrong and that he or she needs to feel things correctly.  His or her feelings are wrong.  And, as any human being who ever lived can attest, it’s super hard to prevent feeling the feelings that we feel.
  • Be there.  Just be there.  I’ve not always been there for people who are in the midst of anticipation.  I don’t ever know what exactly to say.  I’m fearful that I’ll do or say something wrong, like the previous two bullet points above.  But in my experience, on both sides of anticipation, just being there is enough.  Have a meal together.  Go on a hike.  Do normal things.  If the subject of anticipation comes up, let the one in the midst of it take the lead.  If all they wanted to do was pick at the anticipation scab for one second and then move on, cool.  Let them.
  • Lastly, pray for them.  Even if you’re not a Jesus follower, pray for your friend or family member that’s facing anticipation.  Ask God to be with them.  Ask God to be faithful to them.  Ask God to be good to them.  Ask God to help them feel hopeful and excited.  In other words, pray to God all the things that you may have wanted to say to the person!  Why?  Because those are good things!  And the person in the midst of anticipation needs them.  So ask God to give them to him or her.

Welp, that’s about it.  Do you have any other thoughts about dealing with anticipation or interacting with folks who are?  Let me know in the comments below.
If you’d like to keep up with more of our adoption story, subscribe to my blog via email in the upper, right-hand corner of this page (or near the bottom if you’re reading this on a mobile device).

 

Also, you can click here if you’d like to support my wife and I in this crazy process!  Either way, we would appreciated your continued prayers!

Countdown: Adoption Style

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It’s January 14, 2015.  The countdown has moved down to six days.

Six.  That’s less than a week!

It’s crazy!  In six days (if not before) my wife and I will be holding our first child.

Writing that sentence makes me lose my breath just a bit.  It’s totally surreal in fact!

The reality of this countdown has been pretty insane.  Here are some of the things that have been going on lately in the Barnes house:

  • We have our bags packed just in case we need to hit the road quickly.
  • We have a diaper bag packed and ready to go.
  • We have a couple of bags of baby stuff packed and ready.
  • Our dog is packed and a sitter has been arranged.
  • We have an infant car seat installed in our car.
  • Cloth diapers have been prepped, washed, and dried.
  • Baby clothes, towels, blankets, swaddlers, etc. have all been washed, sorted, and stored away.
  • The nursery has been finalized, minus a few things that we don’t need until later.
  • Baby-proofing of the house has ramped up significantly.
  • There’s a ton of baby food in our house, thanks to our wonderful friends.
  • I’ve become very well acquainted with the baby aisles in Target.
  • We’re learning how to swaddle, mix formula, use cloth diapers, etc., etc.
  • We’ve had a thousand conversations about parenting.
  • We’ve prayed for Wendy, our birthmom, our child, and this whole process a ton.
  • We have leaned on on friends and family in ways that we never have before.
  • And we have seen God’s faithfulness to us like we never have up to this point.

This countdown has changed our lives.

Once the countdown goes to zero our lives will be changed again!  Baby Barnes will transform who we are as a couple, as individuals, and as followers of Jesus.

So, please keep praying for us.  Pray for the adoption process to continue to be smooth.  Pray for our nerves as this countdown keeps ticking away.  And pray that the good news of Jesus and his kingdom will be lifted high through all of this!

If you’d like to read more of our adoption story and/or if you’d like to find out how you can support us, please follow this link: https://www.continuetogive.com/mattandalida.

And if you want to follow our continued adoption saga, enter your email in the subscribe box near the upper right hand corner of this page (or near the bottom of the page if you’re reading this on your mobile device!).

 

 

Ultrasound of Our Future

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Ultrasound

An ultrasound machine like this one granted us our first look at a face that will forever change our lives.

 

Ultrasound of Our Baby

My wife and I have been having a lot of life-changing days lately.  This is due to the fact that we’re in the process of adopting.  You can read some about it at this link, this link, or this one.

Yesterday was another one of those days — I was blessed with the opportunity of going to our birthmother’s ultrasound appointment.  It was a complete trip!  I was so excited to see the face of our child for the first time, thanks to the ultrasound machine and technicians; all while getting to have a wonderful conversation with the child of Wendy, our birthmother (who is also my cousin and her daughter will be our child’s cousin and biological sister).

While the whole scenario was certainly surreal, like much of this process has been, the reality of the situation began to sink in more and more fully.  I was looking at pictures of our child on the ultrasound monitor after all — his or her feet, hands, legs, heart, organs, brain, eyes, arms, face…

It was beyond belief!

Want to see the star of the show?  Here you go!

ultrasound

1.2.840.113663.1500.1.374244462.3.55.20141117.143326.406.d86ae41b23b.0000000000 1.2.840.113663.1500.1.374244462.3.56.20141117.143330.656.d86ae41b23b.0000000000

 

You may be able to see that our baby is resting on his or her hand.  I don’t know why but this little detail of the ultrasound photo really stands out to me, but it does.  I guess it humanizes the photo some.  I mean, I do that — I rest on my hand!  And here’s our baby doing the same thing!

I wish I had words to encapsulate how I felt in that moment…but all my words are inadequate.  I’ll try anyway: I was excited, nervous, happy, scared, hopeful, anxious, and joyous.  Ultimately I would say that in that moment I felt blessed: blessed to be there, blessed to have this opportunity to live out the life of Jesus within my own family, and blessed to be entrusted with this little life which is being knit together in Wendy’s womb and in our hearts.

Ultrasound of Our Future

But the other side of the blessing coin is being a blessing.  There’s a biblical principle, found in the covenant with Abraham in Genesis to the teachings of Jesus in the Gospels, that those who are blessed by God, in whatever capacity, are expected to be a blessing to others.  To hoard the blessing of God is nothing short of utter selfishness and is ultimately sinful.

Thus, when looking into the monitor at the face of our baby, I could not help but begin to imagine all that is going to unfold over the next months and years.

It’s not often that we have the opportunity to see a face that will forever change our lives.  I don’t remember first time seeing the faces of my parents and sister, but those faces certainly count.  And in 1998 I first saw the face of my wife, Alida, and my life’s never been the same.

Seeing our baby’s face for the first time yesterday was another one of those moments.

All our prayers, all our decisions, and all our conversations for the rest of our lives will be different because of the face looking back at us in these ultrasound pictures.

And we, my wife and I, have been blessed with this opportunity.  It’s our job to steward, or to care for, this blessing well, while always being prepared to share it with others.  It’s our God-given mandate to share the blessing that we are receiving in this moment.

I haven’t the slightest idea of what that will look like.  But I know this for sure: this child isn’t just ours.  He or she belongs to God and God will do with him or her whatever he sees fit.

It’s our job to be a blessing to this child and to be ready to share him or her with the world.

 

If you’d like to support my wife and I during this process, that would be great!  Please pray that everything continues to go smoothly and that all the little details that need ironing out will get ironed out.  For more ways to support us, click here.  Thanks!

The Baby’s Heartbeat

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My wife and I are adopting.

Even though I have said and written those words many times, they still hit me in a surreal manner.  I instinctively think something like this: We’re not really adopting; this must just be a dream or something.

But it’s real!  In fact, yesterday it just got very, very real.

We heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

 

Heartbeat

A sample fetal heart rate monitor

The Baby’s Heartbeat

Wendy, my cousin and our birthmother, had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and we went with her.  The doctor and her assistant helped Wendy get into position and placed the listening end of a fetal heart rate monitor on her stomach.

And then we heard a series of sounds that brought this whole adoption thing out of the realm of “no way” right into the realm of “yup, it’s real.”

After listening for a little while the doctor told the assistant that the heart rate was 145 beats per minute.  But I wonder what the heart rates of my wife and I were?  I know that my heart was racing at a pace that felt like a million beats per minute!

That tiny baby’s heartbeat, which is in the normal range by the way (I Googled it!), represents a lifetime of stories, heartbreaks, love, and excitement.

That tiny heartbeat will change our lives forever.

 

Jesus’ Heartbeat

This whole experience kind of reminds me of when I first heard the heartbeat of Jesus.

Sadly, I lived for more than 20 years as a follower of Jesus before I really heard this heartbeat myself.

Don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes I would hear a faint sound that might have been Jesus’ heartbeat.  I certainly heard other people talk about experiencing his heartbeat firsthand.

But I hadn’t, at least not consistently.

But a few years ago I pulled my head out of my academic books (where it had been buried for 7 years at the time) and came up for air.  I realized that while I was on my self-imposed academic exile, an entire movement within the Church had taken on full form.

That movement is called the missional movement.  (Here’s a post where I talk about this process in more detail.)

That word, missional, has definitely hit buzzword status and, as such, it needs a bit of explaining.  So, here goes: “missional” means to be on mission with Jesus.  As Hugh Halter puts it in his book entitled Flesh: Bringing the Incarnation down to Earth — being missional means being disciples that live the human life of Jesus in our human lives.

So, if we see Jesus doing something, then we should be doing it too.  If we see him telling his disciples to do these sorts of things and not those sorts of things, then we should obey.  If we see Jesus caring for people, whoever they may be, then we should follow suit.

Here’s a way I like to think about it — being missional means letting Jesus’ heartbeat beat in our hearts.

And what is Jesus’ heartbeat?

I think we see it primarily in two places.  And each of these two places is of utmost importance and both should be pursued by followers of Jesus with all of our gumption.

The first is found in Luke 4.16-21:

He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:

 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Here we see Jesus’ heartbeat in this way: his heart beats for the downtrodden, for the oppressed, and for the forgotten.  When our hearts start to mimic Jesus’ heartbeat, then we’ll start caring for the poor, those who are imprisoned, those who are differently abled, and those who are oppressed.

The second is found in Matthew 28.18-20:

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Here we find the other side of Jesus’ heartbeat — his desire that his followers would help others follow him too.  And who are his followers supposed to help become disciples?  Everyone, all the nations.

And what are they to do with them when they start following Jesus?  They are to baptize them (making them part of the church family) and they are to teach them to obey Jesus (mentoring them to live the human life of Jesus in their lives).

Traditionally different sorts of Christians have focused on one aspect of Jesus’ heartbeat or the other.  Friends, this is simply a cop out.  We must focus on both.  All of us.  Each one of us.  Together.

We must be all about justice and we much be all about making disciples.

And hearing the heartbeat of Jesus can change our lives, even more so than hearing the heartbeat a baby.

When you think of the heartbeat of Jesus, what do you think of and why?  Let me know in the comments below!

If you would like to know how you can support my wife any I in this crazy process of adoption, click on the following link or copy and paste it into your browser: https://www.continuetogive.com/mattandalida.

To read some more of our adoption story, CLICK HERE.

Thanks!

Adoption

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Years and years ago my then-girlfriend, Alida, told me about her passion for adoption.  Little did I know that more than a decade later me and that same woman would be pursuing the adoption of a child together!

 

Adoption: Our Story

It only took a small amount of time for me, as Alida’s boyfriend, to catch the adoption bug too.  Over the years that followed we periodically dreamed together about what adopting a child could look like.

Then, through a series of God-ordained events, we ended up in the Los Angeles area and began to become more and more affected by the realities of poverty and injustice within America’s inner-cities.  That’s when our adoption attention turned from international settings to domestic ones.  This  was a huge change for us.

So, due to this new focus and passion toward domestic adoption, Alida and I began researching options.  We discovered and then agreed to pursue the foster-care-to-adoption route.  Basically we would become a certified foster-care home and receive foster-child placements.  As a foster-care-to-adoption family our hope would be to foster children that we may one day adopt.

Alida and I found a agency to go through and started the process in mid-September of 2014.  We told our parents, siblings, and close friends that this process was beginning and they all started praying for us.

My dad told many people, including his sister Ellen, about what we were doing so that they could pray for us.  Unbeknownst to us, Ellen’s granddaughter (my first cousin, once removed) Wendy was pregnant and had just found out that very week.  She and her family decided that it would be in the best interest of the child to give it up for adoption.  They held out hope that it could be adopted within the family.

And it could!

Ellen told Wendy about us, Wendy’s mom asked us if we wanted to adopt Wendy’s child, and we asked for a few days to think it through.  Over the next two days we prayed, researched, prayed, cried, prayed, talked, prayed, didn’t sleep, and prayed some more.  After a long process we determined that this adoption was for us!

We believed, and still believe, that this adoption is what God would have for us to do at this time in our lives.  In fact, for us and in this specific case, we realized that all our reasons to say “no” were fearful, selfish, and not centered on the good news of Jesus and his kingdom.  Those were not the sorts of things that typically influenced our other decisions in life, so we felt that it was clear that saying “yes” was the right course of action.

And we did!

This January we’ll be the proud parents of a newborn!

Adoption

By: gabi menashe
Note: These feet are from a Flickr photo and not the feet of our child!

 

Adoption: The Reality

During our decision-making process we realized that we were not prepared for the financial differences between a foster-care-to-adoption process and a private, independent, interstate adoption.

In short, we quickly realized that attorney fees, social worker fees, state and federal fees, etc. were going to pile up.

Add to this the fact that our friends and family have very helpfully inundated us with offers of help.

In response we wanted to provide a way for people who so desired to help us and partner with us in the process.  In order to do so, we created a fundraising page.  So if you would like to offer us help in this way, simply go to the following link or copy and paste it into your browser: https://www.continuetogive.com/mattandalida .

Even more importantly, we covet your prayers and support during this time.  Please pray that this process would go smoothly and please pray for us, Wendy, and the baby.

 

Thank you for reading this!  Feel free to leave a comment or two for Alida and me below!  🙂